I'm writing this at 11:32PM. Less than 30 minutes and its officially Christmas. Everyone is quiet and tired of preparing the last minute gifts that we've prepared for tomorrow's Christmas party. But as I am typing here in our room, I really feel sad.
Don't get me wrong, of course I am happy with my family here but I there is a part of me that greatly misses two important person in my life. Joey and Lola Payat.
Its our 2nd Christmas without her. She might be having her own Christmas party with the real birthday celebrant, Jesus Christ. If only I could turn back time, it would be very nice to see her eyes glitter again whenever she receive gifts from us. I can still see her smiles and hear her voice. For me, she's the best grandmother in the world and I know, she loves us dearly as we love and miss her too.
Joey and I never spent Christmas or New Year together every since we've been in a relationship. Believe it or not, it's never a Nombre tradition to let other people sleep in our house for Christmas or New Year's Eve so there's no way that Joey can spend the midnight at home. My frustration is, now that we're married and can now spend the holidays together, he is now in Thailand.
A call from him is a big relief. We prayed together and hope for a better 2011. Whenever if I'm hysterical of missing him, it's so nice that Joey has his ways of making things better and that's the thing that I really love about him. I just wish that I have the same courage as him to not miss him so.
Tonight's Christmas gift giving is awesome. I got a cool jacket from April, a laptop sleeve from Gibb and a box of Castañas from Mama! In return, I gave a body bag (Fila) to Gibb and a couple of hand bags to April and Mom (Sylvia Santos) . I may not be 100% happy emotionally, but at least I'm 100% satisfied with the gifts that I gave them. For once, I finally purchased the things that I want to give them for Christmas.
Even if I don't have Lola anymore, at least I still have Joey. With all the things that I have this holidays, I still believe that it would still be the best if he's with me.
I miss him and lola so much. Well, at least I have my family to keep me company. They are also the source of my strength.
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